The Things That Death Can Bring
by PheonixFireBlack
Summary: Jay sees something that he wasn't supposed to see and it's really messed him up. Will Alex be able to get him to tell her what's going on? rated for language....


Title - The Things That Death Can Bring  
By - PheonixFireBlack  
Summary - Jay sees something that he wasn't supposed to see and it's really messed him up. Will Alex be able to get him to tell her what's going on? rated for language....  
Category - Degrassi  
Genre - General/Angst  
Rating - R  
Warnings - Language and some violence at the very beginning.  
Feedback - Please?  
Criticism - Oh, whatever! Give it!  
_**Disclaimer - I own nothing. I win. You can't sue me now**_  
Notes - It was an idea that was bouncing around in my head. It wouldn't stop until I wrote it. So, here I am.

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**The Things That Death Can Bring**  
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Jay groaned when he heard his parents arguing again. This was nothing new. They did that all the time. But that didn't make it any less annoying. Especially when he was **_trying_** to get to sleep. It was usually toned down by two in the morning. It was now....three thirty. He sighed and threw the sheet back to go try and break it up. He did have school in the morning after all, and he usually had to separate them in their fights, anyway. This wasn't anything he wasn't used to by now.

He stumbled down the stairs, but never made it all the way down. He was about halfway there when he stopped for a moment to watch them, to see how bad it **_really_** was. Jay winced when he saw his father slap his mom so hard that she actually stumbled back about five steps. He was just about to make a move to stop them when he saw something in the hand that his father hand behind his back. No. He wasn't going to--he couldn't!

Even though he had seen it, and he'd known it was coming, Jay couldn't do a thing to stop it. He was frozen in place and was forced to watch it as it happened. He wanted to do something, help Alicia, but he couldn't. He couldn't move or speak. And if he could, he would never be able to fend his father off.

His father slapped the woman in front of him a few times and when she tried to defend herself is when he pulled the hand gun out. And he shot her. Four times.

Jay's eyes were wide as they could be, and wet with tears. Now he could move. Now he could speak. He rushed down the stairs, yelling at his dad. "What are you doing? Why did you...What did she ever do to you, ya bastard!" Jay was kneeling next to the limp form of his mother. He looked up at Mark, tears streaming from his eyes, "Why did you do it?" He shouted.

"None 'a yer business, kid! Now, 'less you wanna join'er, get outta my site and back up to yer room and go ta sleep!" The man shouted.

Jay didn't want to leave his mother's side, but he knew that he had to take Mark seriously. Especially when he was angry. And right now, Mark was furious. Jay went back upstairs to his room, but he didn't get one second of sleep after that. There was no way he could.

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Alex had to walk to school today because her boyfriend was being an ass and late on picking her up. She didn't mind other than the fact that the day before he had told her he would be there. She sighed and stood leaning against the school building waiting for him to show up. Almost as if on cue, he drove up. "Hey, asshole! Where were you this morning?" Alex shouted at him, knowing he could tell she was joking.

"I...I over slept is all. Sorry, babe."

Alex smiled and leaned in the window and kissed him. "You overslept, eh?" She laughed, "I believe it."

Jay shrugged and got out of the car, heading towards the school's front doors.

"Jay! Where ya goin'?" Alex asked, frowning.

"Hey, we gotta attend class at least once a week, right?" He asked, winking at her.

Alex ginned and followed him into the building.

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Alex was starting to wonder about Jay. He was acting really weird today. Off. Not himself. Now was probably the best time to try and get it out of him. Now was lunch. So, she decided that she would do just that. He was out back behind the school and she knew this because that's where they went so they could smoke a cigarette or two during lunch. She shoved the door open and was glad to find that he was out here. Leaning against the wall, smoking, and looking incredibly hot. She grinned and stood in front of him, placing her hands on either of his shoulders and take the smoke from his hand, holding it between her own two fingers. She kissed him and when she broke it, took the cigarette as her own, but she kept a hand on his shoulder.

"Ya mind?" Jay asked, shrugging her hand off his shoulder.

"What's with you?" Alex asked through the cigarette being held in her moth, "You've been really weird all day!"

"Nothin', all right? Don't fret your pretty lethal head about me, ok?"

"No, Jay! It's not ok!" Alex held the smoke between her fingers, "You've been jumpy and really fidgety all day. Something's wrong. What is it?"

"Nothing's wrong, ok?" He snapped, "You're just being paranoid!"

"No, I'm not! You haven't been yourself at all today! I'm not being paranoid, Jay, I'm just worried about you, all right?"

"Worried?" Jay scoffed at that, "Didn't think you knew what that was, Lexie."

"What's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem, Alex, your just--"

Alex threw the cigarette to the ground and put it out. She put both her hands back on his shoulders, looking his straight in his eyes, "Jay, stop fucking with me and tell me what's going on!" She shouted, a vicious glint in her eyes.

Jay's eyes widened a little and he tried to shrink back from her. He could **_feel_** the absolute terror in his eyes; feel the fear rising within him. "Please...Alex...don't...." Jay licked his lips and swallowed.

Alex frowned and stepped back a little, "Jay, babe, what's...what's wrong?"

Jay shook his head, "No...no, everything's....everything's fine, don't...don't worry, ok?" He smiled a little.

It was Alex's turn to shake her head, "No, Jay, everything's not fine. I need to worry about you." She frowned a little, "Is your dad?" She noticed that when she mentioned Mark that Jay's eyes flashed with fear. "Is he beatin' you again?"

Jay shook his head. "No..."

"Then, what--"

"Don't, ok? Just...drop it, all right?" With that, he walked away from her, not wanting to deal with any more interrogation from her.

"Jay..." Alex muttered, "What is wrong with you?" She sighed and made a mental not to try and talk to him about it again later.

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Alex hadn't been able to catch Jay after school. He'd left quick as lightning. So, she waited for time to pass and darkness to fall. And so it had. And now she could do what she'd been waiting to do all day. She could sneak into her boyfriend's room. No, she wasn't just doing this to see him, that was just a bonus, but the idea had initially crossed her mind so she could corner him and try to get him to tell her what the hell was going on with him.

This was exactly why she had climbed up the side of his house. This was why she was trying to figure out just **_how_** she was going to get into his room with his window shut. This was why she was cursing to herself for not thinking things through. She shrugged and knocked on the window. Alex wasn't sure what was going on in his room exactly, but she knew she heard Jay take in a sharp breath. _It's his dad. I know it. Something's not right, though..._

Jay sighed when he saw Alex in the window. He went over to the window and unlocked it, raised it, and took the screen out. He shook his head at her and helped her inside. "What the hell are you doing, Alex?"

"Seeing my boyfriend."

"You saw me earlier." Jay said, sitting back down on his bed.

Alex followed him and lay width-wise across his bed next to him, "Yeah, but that only for a few minutes." She looked up at him, "And...I wanted to talk to you."

"You know, unless you plan on breaking up with someone, it's not in your best interest starting a conversation like that, Alex." He joked, winking at her.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Whatever," She sat up and in an Indian-style, facing him. "Jay...."

"If this is about what happened earlier, Alex, I...I just wasn't in the mood to talk, all right?"

"When are you ever?" Alex rolled her eyes, "What's been going on around here lately, Jay? And don't **_even_** try to tell me that nothing's happened out of the ordinary or that everything's fine because I know you, Jay, and you weren't at school today. The scared, ten year old you was there in your sixteen year old body. What's. Going. On?"

"It's...It's... my dad."

"I established that on my own, thanks." Alex said sarcastically.

Jaw scowled at her. "You wanna know what's goin' on?" When she nodded, in an acidic he said, "Then shut up!"

"All right, jeez." Alex muttered snappily.

"Last night...they were arguing, ya know? Mom and dad always argue, so I didn't think anything of it. I figured, I'd just go downstairs....break it up, ya know? So I could sleep. I didn't get that far though. I only got halfway down the stairs and..." Jay trailed off, the event obviously still taking affecting him.

"What happened?" Alex couldn't imagine what could have happened that would make Jay act the way he had. So, his parents were arguing, maybe tossing each other around a little. That wasn't exactly a new story.

"He....he had a gun...this time. He shot her, Alex."

"Oh my God. Is she all right?"

"You kidding me? Shot her. He shot her. Four times. Dead." Jay looked up at her, "My mom's dead, Lexie. And I watched her die. I just stood there. I didn't do anything at all." He looked away from his girlfriend, "It's my fault. If I'd done something....she wouldn't be in a bag in the basement. She'd be here. But I didn't do a thing. This is...it's my fault she's dead..."

"No!" Alex shouted, "Jay, it's not your fault! You didn't do anything! You didn't have the gun. You didn't pull the trigger. You didn't do anything wrong!"

"But I did, Alex!" Jay turned to look at her sharply, "I did do something wrong. I did nothing. And that's the worst thing I couldda done."

Alex shook her head, "No, no...that's not true. You were in shock. You weren't completely comprehending what was going on! You didn't know what to do! So you did what you could do. This isn't your fault, Jay. It was Mark's finger that pulled the trigger. It wasn't you. It was him." Alex tried to get that in his head, but she wasn't sure how well it was going. It seemed to be a failed attempt.

When the silence that had enclosed around them had gone on for a good while, Alex sighed silently and stood up. "Look....you've got some things to sort out for yourself and...I don't want to interrupt you with that, so...I'll see you tomorrow, all right?" When Alex leaned in to give him a quick kiss before climbing down the side of the house, she felt Jay take a grip on her wrist. "Who-ho! Loosen up on that Death Grip!"

Jay loosened his grip on her wrist, but didn't let go. It was as if he thought that she would leave if he didn't keep his hold on her. "Don't leave." It wasn't a demand, but a hopeful cry for something recognizable.

Alex didn't like Jay begging for anything. It wasn't right. So she agreed. "All right...but I have to ask: Why?" She asked quietly, her head tilted slightly to the side.

Jay's eyes fell, along with his hand, and he wasn't sure how to answer that. He didn't actually know why he wanted her to stay, he just knew that he did. He looked back up at her, "I...I don't know, I just..."

"Mmm...that's ok. I think I understand." Alex said, getting back on the bed to lay like she had before; with-wise across it on her back. "So....do we sleep?"

"No."

"What do we do to take your miiiind things you don't need ta think about at the moment?"

"I'm sure we can come up with...something."

"Oh, do you, now?" Alex turned over to lay on her stomach and look up at him. "How d'ya suppose we should go about distracting you, then?"

"Something like this." He leaned over and kissed her.

"Mmm...I see how you play..." Alex grinned and within a few moments, had her boyfriend straddled. "As long as it keeps you occupied..." She leaned in for another kiss.

Maybe things wouldn't be solved that day. And maybe not even the next one. It maybe be months--even a few years--before Jay ever truly came to terms with what he'd seen that night. But at least for now he could try to live life the way he always had. Even if Alicia wasn't there anymore, maybe Jay could still try and go on like normal. Even if it took time for the scar to heal, it would eventually. And when _"eventually"_ came, he would be to the point of acceptance. Maybe Jay could be lucky. Maybe _"eventually"_ could come soon for him.

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**End The Things That Death Can Bring**  
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**Notes - So it wasn't the **_most_** realistic thing in the world, but I liked it. I hope you did and I hope you review. (**_grins & laughs_

**Drop me a line!**

Later days,  
-PFB-


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